Why do we do the things we do and feel the way we feel?

The Circle of Awareness

Once we understand why we acted in a certain way, then we have an awareness. When we are aware of the reason we act in a certain way, we have understanding.

Once we have an understanding, we can take ownership of the way we act, and then we can change the outcome once we decide to act in a different way.

And then once we have a different outcome, we will then feel different!

It’s all about understanding WHY

I’ve been thinking about how I as ‘The Brain Whisperer’ can make a difference to peoples‘ happiness and sense of fulfillment in life.

If we are Happy and Fulfilled, then surely, we feel Happy and Fulfilled right?
Obvious but true, we are all driven by our emotions… in other words, how we feel. So, it’s an obvious statement to say that how we feel is based on our achievements.

So, if we’re a person that expresses our anger to get what we want in life, it’s a given that we feel angry! The same goes for achievements gained through given and supportive produces a beneficial feeling of satisfaction.

Our actions determine or emotions and our emotions determine our actions. It looks like a bit of a ‘chicken and egg’ situation, but lets look at this more.

Can we look back and control the chicken or the egg? Obviously, the answer is no. However, can we look at the emotion-action-emotion cycle and change which comes first, YES WE CAN!

It’s all about awareness and making a choice for ourselves. We decide how we emotionally deal with situations, which then determines our actions.

Thought Circle

If, in a state of calmness and security, we rewind an recent negative event in our mind, it’s possible that we may cringe a little and wish we could have dealt with in a different manner. So that leads us to WHY.

Why did we react the way we did?
The answer is most probably that we ‘just did’. We probably didn’t intend to react in that way, it just happened. And so, the predictable cycle of our emotion-action-emotion took centre stage!

Think about this. What if you had the opportunity to re-run an event, an event where you acted and said things you wish you hadn’t. Have you got one? Now, what’s important is to remove the ‘blame-game’ culture. “They really made me angry” I hear you say. Ok maybe they said or did some pretty unsettling things, but only YOUR mind decided to act/react the way you did.

We all have the power to shut up and walk away, but it’s our self-pride that stops us. I’m not saying this is right or wrong, what I am saying is ‘think about what makes us do what we do’.

Think this through, why did you act the way you did? and remember to remove the blame part. Once you know why, then you’re able to understand why you did what you did.

If you strip away the details and intricacies of who said what to who etc, you will see that it can be distilled down to one or a combination of the below cornerstone emotions.

Let’s look at the possible outcomes:


You couldn’t get what you wanted


You are worried about an outcome of the future


You got what you wanted (for yourself or others)


You lost what you have (or can’t see how to get what you want)


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